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Spontaneous Character Curation in an Unnamed Trail

October 30, 2016


Today my partner in EPP and life, Jamie and I took my 2 of my first cousins twice removed, Lizzy and Teddy, through a long unkempt trail in the woods in our impromptu costumes that led to the cemetery. Jamie was Glutina, the Mushroom Queen Mother, Teddy was our son the leaf monster, Lizzy was Velva (Velvetica) the mushroom princess, and I was Bubber the Two-faced. I was cursed for years with the need to protect my skin with a feather mask, as was Teddy, the young Leaf Monster in his greenish white visage with, for good measure, ski goggles, for fear of being turned into a toad by the omniscient honey locusts (pics above are from the day before).

The walk went on seemingly forever and I kept pleading with them to keep going so as to find our treasure in the Cemetery. For some reason –maybe it was my gravely muppet voice, or maybe it was my pink and white hoop skirt, or just my crooked walk, your guess is as good as mine– Velva felt very embarrassed to be around me, even as I expressed to her the special meaning of the donut shaped pillow toadstool she got to wear. She kept telling me to go away. My Leaf Monster son was also indifferent to my attempts to keep our family together in this adventure. “I don’t know my own children,” I cried. Finally, my Queen Glutina helped out when she discovered our spore-bearing ancestors all over the tree limbs and vibrating under the earth. Velva relented and chanted with us in a circle “ooh ya ya-ya, ooh ya-ya-ya, ooh ya-ya-ya yeah!”


After getting permanently off track from any well trodden traill, we found a broken type writer, then what looked like a dead man sitting against a tree–it’s okay, it was just a dead mannequin. And it all added up as the beacon for the destination of our pilgrimage: a cemetery full of corpses underneath the ground, with erected tombstones with names of other people’s loved ones etched into them. All the sudden we became free of our oppressive costumes, shedding our mushroom heads, second face, feather mask, greenish visage and ski goggles! After 25 minutes of frolicking in the green and reading the tombstones, we decided to go back home a different way. I managed to avoid being suspected as crazy.

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