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WHO DO I GOTTA SCREW…IN ANNOUNCING 2 CONTESTS

March 20, 2016

CONTEST # 1

It occurred to me while doing some of my last tweaks to my forthcoming, third chapbook Rapport Privilege, that there was a perhaps unreasonable sparse use of the phrase “who [or whom] do I gotta [or have to] screw to…”

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If we can distance ourselves a little bit, from the technical and literal sense of the title “Rapport Privilege”, the aforementioned phrase is the ultimate primal –the ultimate primal!– expression that led to such a title –current racial and other social justice politics having something to do with it to I guess if you want get all trendy [cue my pouty cis challenged white BOY lips] about it.– of Rapport Privilege.  “Who do I gotta screw to…”

So, to enter to win a free advanced copy of the new EPP chapbook Rapport Privilege, your task is to finish the phrase “whom do I have to screw to…” in any length of sentence you need.  The only rule is that it has to be no more than one sentence.

And bonus points for meme submissions.

CONTEST #2

The poem I’m currently proudest of in this new collection is a prose poem called “Pareidolia“.  In my very limited opinion, the worst thing about it is the low hanging fruit of the title.  And I recently read about the concept of “Pattern Exhaustion“.  Pattern Exhaustion is exactly what “Pareidolia” may be perceived as its conclusion.  In my wildest review fantasy [cue pearls of sweat and hushing tones of my androgynous voice].

Therefore, you are tasked with reading “Pareidolia” and writing up the meanest hit piece review of the poem you can come up.  The only rule is that it has to bear a resemblance to a critical review.  Employing a little aesthetic reasoning within your venom towards my shitty poem will likely make you successful.  Enter to win.  Win, and you receive a free advanced copy of the new EPP chapbook Rapport Privilege AND an advanced sample of EPPs newest almost marketable mail art; if you are a baseball fan you it will be a special panel of 8 Bottoms’ Trading Cards of Baseball’s Unlikeliest Handi- Heroes League (BUHHL) players.  If you are not a baseball fan, we will arrange a homemade something to fit your fancy.  Perhaps a sample of the series of Jamie Hofling’s Botanicals from Outer, Space.

email me at blame creed@gmail.com

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